Q. What washes up on very small beaches?

A. Microwaves!

Q. What gets bigger and bigger as you take more away from it?

A. A hole!

Q. What goes through towns, up & over hills, but doesn’t move?

A. The road!

Q. How do you make a bandstand?

A. Take away their chairs!

Q. Why was there thunder and lightning in the lab?

A. The scientists were brainstorming!

Q. Why did Tony go out with a prune?

A. Because he couldn’t find a date!

Q. What did the little mountain say to the big mountain?

A. Hi Cliff!

Q. What did Pooh say to his agent?

A. Show me the honey!

Q. Why couldn’t the pirate play cards?

A. Because he was sitting on the deck!

Q. Why did the traffic light turn red?

A. You would too if you had to change in the middle of the street!

Q. What did one elevator say to the other elevator?

A. I think I’m coming down with something!

Q. What do lawyers wear to court?

A. Lawsuits!

Q. What breaks when you say it?

A. Silence!

Q. Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long?

A. Because then it would be a foot!

Q. What has four wheels and flies?

A. A garbage truck!

Q. What starts with a P, ends with an E, and has a million letters in it?

A. Post Office!

Q. What did the blanket say to the bed?

A. Don’t worry, I’ve got you covered!

Q. Why should you take a pencil to bed?

A. To draw the curtains!

Q. How many books can you put in an empty backpack?

A. One! After that its not empty!

Q. What kind of button won’t unbutton?

A. A bellybutton!

Q. What do you call a dear without any eyes?

A. No eye dear!

Q. What is the best day to go to the beach?

A. Sunday, of course!

Q. What bow can’t be tied?

A. A rainbow!

Q. What happens if you eat yeast and shoe polish?

A. Every morning you’ll rise and shine!

Q. What does a teddy bear put in his house?

A. Fur-niture!

Q.What season is it when you are on a trampoline?

A.Spring time.

Q. What happens to cows during an earthquake?

A. They give milk shakes!

Q. Why did the jelly wobble?

A. Because it saw the milk shake!

Q. What do you call a girl who is always in the bookies?

A. Betty!

Q. Where do cows go on holiday?

A. Moo York

Q. Where did the computer go to dance?

A. To a disc-o.

Q. What do you call a man who rolls in the leaves?

A. Russel

Q. What has one head, one foot and four legs?

A. A Bed

Q. Why didn’t the chicken cross the road?

A. He was a chicken.

Q. What is the difference between a school teacher and a train?

A. The teacher says spit your gum out and the train says “chew chew chew”.

Q. Why did the birdie go to the hospital?

A. To get a tweetment.

Q. What do you call someone who is afraid of Santa?

A. A Clausterphobic

Q. Why was the guy looking for the food on his friend?

A. Because his friend said its on me.

Q. Did you hear the joke about the roof?

A. Never mind, it’s over your head!

Q. What do you call a cow eating grass in a paddock?

A. A lawn mooer

Q. Why didn’t the skeleton go to the dance?

A. Because he had no-body to go with.

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